Talking to the moon

Today is a bit rough for me as a mom. My son wanted milk, and when I gave it to him, he started throwing a fit because it was in a yellow cup and not a red cup. It has been an hour, and he is still screaming. No, I will not give in and teach him that it is ok to behave this way. No, I will not reward his behavior by giving him what he wants. You get the yellow cup, or you get nothing at all. 

Times like this, I usually lean on Richard to give me a break for a bit so I can keep my sanity, but as most of you know, Richard is in the Navy and he is not here right now. He left before Thanksgiving, and he will be gone until 2014... My heart is broken so badly right now because I have never missed someone so much in my life. I love that man more than words could even describe, and I want him to come home so badly.

Here is the song I have clung to tonight. 

I know being a military wife is a sacrifice, that was never something that I was unaware of, but I swear to you that doesnt make it hurt any less. As Christmas draws closer, I just wish it would go away. Celebrate Christmas when the love of my life is alone in hell and going through basic training? How could I celebrate ANYTHING without feeling selfish? No thank you. My kids miss their daddy, and no matter how I try to explain it, they just dont understand why he is gone. 

It was heartbreaking to hear my 4 year old tell Santa Clause that she wants her daddy for Christmas... Do you even know what that felt like? I thought I was going to die right there in that moment from the knife that plunged into my heart. I was not prepared to hear that, nor did I even know how to react to it, because I couldn't cry without making her cry as well... 

I want you to all hug your babies extra tight tonight, and kiss your husbands/boyfriends/fiancees. Do this because you CAN, and because you have the MOMENT, while others may not... Count the days down to Christmas, and enjoy your family. I will be counting down the days until my husband is in my arms again... Promise me that you will make the most of EVERY moment you are given, and that you will not waste precious time fighting over things that will not matter days from now. I wish I had not fought over such little things, and I wish I had not wasted those precious moments. Times like this, I realize exactly what I have done wrong at times, and I learn from them the hard way. 

I have a stubborn son to deal with, but you bet I will always be more stubborn as a mom than he will be as a toddler. This was true in my childhood with my mother as well. But I have to wonder, is this one of those moments that will I will have considered petty later? Am I wasting precious moments standing up to his fits? Do I give in, and teach him that if he wants something, he should throw a screaming tantrum to get it? 

It's time to dim the lights here and chill out. I will write to you all in the morning, and hopefully in a much better mood than I am in tonight. xoxo

The things that they DIDNT tell me about pregnancy & child birth

Good morning moms!

I wanted to take a minute this morning to log down all of those things that I was NEVER warned about when it came to pregnancy and child birth. I figure this will be a decent list, but perhaps we can find some humor in it for the morning. I like to start my days off with a laugh, every day. Here it is:

The Things They DIDNT Warn me About:
1) You will probably get an ultrasound within 6 - 12 weeks of your pregnancy, but dont expect it to be that cute little thing that glides actoss your lower tummy. Theyre sticking that monsterous trans-vaginal one up there to check out the baby. Be prepared, its NOT comfortable, and totally awkward! 
2) Around 37 weeks pregnant, theyre going to swab a Q-tip around your booty hole to test for Group-B Strep... I expected the Q-tip to come with the pap, but I was NOT expecting THAT!!
3) You might as well invest in pantyliners. You won't be having a period, but you will spend a large amount of time wondering why everything is so "moist" down there. I hated that feeling. 
4) They told you you would pee when you sneezed, but they didnt tell you that you would pee when you laughed, coughed, jumped, yelled, tried to sit up, and sometimes for no reason at all. But dont expect to see a whole lot of pee when youre on the toilet READY for it. Thats just too easy, isn't it? 
5) Blood flow to your lower regions will cause that area to swell up a bit... This kind of feels like the baby is falling out. Do not be alarmed, your baby is not falling out, but that doesnt make it any less uncomfortable. 
6) When you are giving birth, you might throw up. You might also poop on the table while pushing. These are not things you can really prevent or need to even worry about, but it could totally happen.
7) Once the baby is out, the Dr. will start pressing on your gut with both hands pretty hard to get everything else out. This is not comfortable, and they will continue to do this every 8 hours or so for the next 24 hours.
8) You might get "fisted." After my daughter popped out, the Dr was reaching in to make sure everything else was out safely, and I happened to look when that happened. She was practically elbow deep in my daughters previous home!! I shouted "did you just FIST me?" she couldnt stop laughing.
9) You will get a squirt bottle called a peri-bottle to clean yourself with after birth. This will be your friend EVERY time you have to pee. Use it and love it my friends, it is a life saver when you can not wipe!
10) You can not leave the hospital until you poop for the 1st time after having your baby. I never thought pooping would be so scary, but when you have just pushed out a baby and you are feeling rather mangled down there, the last thing you want is something else solid coming out... ESPECIALLY if you have to push.

Well folks, I will stop at 10, but feel free to comment and add to my list!!! Hubby and I are going to try again for baby #3 when he gets back from basic training. Lets remember all those moments we were NOT warned about! Have a fantastic day everyone!!

F*ck Your Corn, Mom.

(December 2013)

Hello again moms!

Its that time of night again, dinnertime. I have few times of the day that go completely wrong every time, but I am pretty sure dinner time is one of them. Lately, I have been asking my kids what they would like for dinner. I find that they are more likely to eat their food, if they had a choice in the matter. I try to keep their choices logical. (We wont try the plain noodles covered in strawberry yogurt again and I dont recommend others try that either, for reasons that should be all too obvious!) 

Tonight when I asked them what veggie they wanted with their dinner, they agreed on corn. Corn is fine by me, its in a can, its easy to heat up and plop on a plate, and it tastes good with little effort required. I gave them each a banana as well as another side dish. They always eat in a certain order I have noticed, starting with the sweetest food, and ending with the least sweet food. Its like a ritual for kids or something. All they really need is a dance, oh wait... They do that at the table too. 

So after serving up dinner, I have to spend every 2 minutes following that saying phrases like "Sit down, stop playing with your food, get your feet off of the table, stop putting your bowl in the center of the table, and where is your spoon??" I can say these things without looking, because as soon as the giggling starts, I know they are up to no good.

My kids get bored fast, because not even 5 minutes after sitting down at the table they are restless and telling me they are done and want to get down. They start complaining and telling me they are "SOOO FULL," and that they "dont like corn!" You dont like corn? But you just ASKED me for corn... I usually find that they have only had a few bites at that point, and I insist that they sit their happy butts down and finish their food. This usually lasts about 10 more minutes, and by then, they are both putting food ON the table and climbing on the backs of the chairs playing "fling the corn kernel at the dog." I usually get frustrated at this point and I take them down and tell them that they are done and that they will have to wait until breakfast to eat again since they chose not to finish their dinner and I put it in the fridge. (I know, some will think I'm a horrible mom for not being a short order cook and giving them cakes and candy so that they will eat 100% of their food, but I cant afford to waste food.)

This happens every day. I dont know how it works in other homes, but I picture it something like this: Mommy dearest puts dinner on the table, and the kids and dad come running to enjoy her AMAZING cooking. They quietly eat their dinner, with some small talk in between, and there is no corn flinging. Oh, and the kids and dad do all of the cleaning up. (I must be doing something wrong, because I have yet to have that happen even once!)

Dinnertime is crazy, and messy, and loud in my house. It makes my head hurt, and I get frustrated, and it makes me THAT much more ready for bedtime. I know though, that when I am old and the kids are on their own, the quiet lonely dinner times will sadden me and that I will miss this. I know that these moments, while frustrating and maddening, are part of the memories that I will have to share with them as adults. After all, who wants to sit and listen to boring stories about perfectly well behaved kids who ate mommy-dearest's dinner and did the dishes over stories about the corn-flinging contest while standing on the backs of the chairs? Hang in there mommies, you're doing it right, I promise. Good night!

Night Life of the Toddler

Hi again moms!!

Ever since my son turned two, he has really asserted his independence. I like that he can talk to me now, tell me his needs, and communicate his problems with me. Well, he can, unless it is night time. For some unknown reason, every night, at about 10pm - 12am, he wakes up and feels the need to throw a tantrum. Now, these are not night terrors. He is 100% awake, while he does this, and I am honestly not sure why.

It starts with the crying, and when I go in there to ask what it is he needs, it escalates into kicking the walls, screaming and yelling, kicking his legs like a mad-man, and throwing toys. I have tried cuddling him, singing to him, offering him a sippy cup, talking to him, and many more things all without success. Most of my attempts to comfort him just seem to piss him off honestly.

Last night, I was recovering from a nasty stomach bug that had me out of commission all day long. When his tantrum started, I was really dazed and still tired. I thought I grabbed his sippy cup from the fridge, but I actually grabbed half of a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and handed it to him. To my surprise, he took the food, and went back to bed without another peep.

Why hadn't I thought of this before? He has always LOVED food, and everyone knows him for that. Perhaps it was a one time thing, but I cant guarantee that I wont do it again just to keep the peace. Perhaps he is just a midnight snacker? We all have our guilty pleasures, and maybe this is his. Im not here to judge him, im here to make his life (and mine) as peaceful and and productive as possible.

With that said, I think I will be investing in a lot more peanut butter! Have a great day moms!!

Pukes and glory!

Hi moms!

Im posting this after finally getting some sleep and recovering. You know, when I was younger, getting sick didnt seem all that bad. I got to stay home from school, I got to lay in bed and sleep all day, and mom made me soup. It was totally a win back then. I practically had my butt wiped for me if I needed it, how could it get any better, right?

Wrong. I am 23 years old, with two children, (Lacey is 4 and Spencer is 2.) About 2 days ago, my daughter woke up sick. Poor kid had the pukes all day, and slept through it. Much like my childhood with my mom, I took good care of her while she was not feeling well. By the time she was feeling better, mommy started feeling sick... uh oh!

It started with just the simple stomach ache, so I showered, put the kids to bed, and assumed I would sleep it off. Well shortly after putting the kids to bed, my stomach ache turned into a full war over which half of my body got to use the toilet... Naturally, the lower half won. I Spent every 20 minutes sitting on the toilet with a plastic mixing bowl in my lap while my body battled the horrid stomach flu. Luckily the kids were in bed, because I was in no position to keep an eye on them like this, and daddy is gone in the military right now.

I woke the next morning exhausted, and with sore abs. Huh, who knew barfing my brains out was just as much exercise as the stuff my personal trainer makes me do? Honestly, I couldnt keep my eyes open. Have you ever been so tired that you put the baby gate up on the kids bedroom door and fell asleep on their toddler bed with them playing in there with you? Yeah, that was me. Curled up in a tiny ball on my son's bed, while they played and covered me in blankets and stuffed animals.

I must admit, being a kid was so much easier when it came to being sick. Thank gosh my 4 year old was able to make PB&J sandwiches because I couldnt even stand up without the nausea returning. There are so many times in life when I think motherhood is absolutely not what I am good at, and then I conquer something like this. I manage to survive the stomach flu, and my kids are still alive as well. I guess life isnt near as difficult when we look at the half of the glass that IS there rather than focusing on the half that is missing. :)

Keep your head up everyone, and Im not referring to barfing this time :)